How You Can Free And Heal Yourself From Physical Abuse Part III
I started this article with the title How Can Someone Tell You That They Love You And In the Next Minute To Abuse You? where I have presented you with 7 aspects, 7 reasons that make possible loving and abusing at the same time.
In the healing part, in the first article on How to Free and Heal Yourself From Physical Abuse Part I, I told you that it is possible that the partner who is abusing you will agree to do therapy, but equally possible might not be fully conscious, to be in denial about this problem and to refuse any form of therapy. Whether he accepts it or not, you have to do therapy, even that it is you who have been abused. I told you needed an awareness process because this is the first step towards healing and then writing him a love letter.
Last time, in How to Free and Heal Yourself From Physical Abuse Part II, I showed you four other ways to heal yourself: Learn to love, give respect, forgive, and pray.
In this third part, I’m going to talk to you about working techniques for complete and definitive healing.
Ho’oponopono technique
This technique, it’s of Hawaiian origin.
In the Hawaiian dictionary, the definition of this technique is mental cleaning, family conference in which relationships are set right through prayer, discussion, confession, the path for mistakes, and mutual forgiveness.
This technique consists of repeatedly uttering, out loud or in thought the formula: I’m sorry! Please, forgive me! Thank you! I love you!
Why say I’m sorry and forgive me, especially if you know you’re not wrong?
First, these words you address to your Creator to forgive you for all your big or small mistakes, for all your negative thoughts.
Secondly, you say them to yourself, so you can forgive yourself for everything you’ve done wrong.
Thirdly, you say them to others around you, including your abuser, even if you’re not the one who made a mistake.
Sometimes apologizing is the most difficult thing. But doing so, like the love letter, is another way to shock him, to get him out of that state of aggressive rage. It’s a way he can realize that he has to apologize. But if he’s the kind of person who always wants to have the last word, always wants to be right, finding out that you’re apologizing, it might soften his anger.
Fourthly, using this technique, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len cured an entire hospital of mentally insane criminals in Hawaii.
So, used regularly, you can cure your abuser, even if you are the one who uses it.
Another way you can use this technique is by writing. For 108 times, you write the name of the person you want to have a better relationship with (your abuser) followed by the words I’m sorry! Please, forgive me! Thank you! I love you!
Does that seem too simple to you?
Try and check the results!
Affirmations Technique
Another technique by which you can change the results is that of affirmations.
With their help, you end up changing the messages you’re talking about yourself with so that you can help the subconscious integrate the new ones you intentionally enter.
The best times to utter the affirmations are those when the subconscious is most easily manipulated, either in the morning when you wake up or in the evening before you fall asleep. Saying them in the morning charges you with energy and gives you power, that no matter what happens to you, you start to have a different opinion about yourself and have energy all day.
By saying them in the evening just before you fall asleep, you help the subconscious to transfer them more easily into the long-term memory.
Some rules for effectively making affirmations:
· is formulated at the Present Time (happens Now, at this moment)
· refers to the person I singular (I, me)
· are formulated in positive terms
· be related to something you want
Example how not to make such an affirmation: I don’t want to be beaten anymore — these words, first of all, are negative, secondly, focus on what you want to avoid.
Examples of correct affirmations:
· I love myself!
· I love my inner child.
· I’m an important person and I deserve respect.
· I respect myself.
· I forgive myself.
· I have an extraordinary relationship with my life partner, etc.
EFT Technique
The EFT technique is a contemporary combination of Chinese acupressure and modern psychology. It is based on the easy tapping of points on the body at the end of the energy meridians, while saying in thought or out loud what are the emotional problems you want to transform. When they have decreased in intensity you say the positive emotions that you want to feel, to integrate.
The tapping points are:
· Karate chop
· Top of the Head
· Side of the eye
· Under Eyes
· Under nose
· Chin
· Collarbone
· Underarm
· Wrist
· Thumb
· Index finger
· Middle finger
· Little finger
· Karate point
On the karate point, you say a formula such as: Even if I feel….. (the emotion you feel), the intensity… (give a note to the emotion you feel from 1 to 10, in which 1 is very weak and 10 is very strong)… I choose to love myself and accept myself as I am. This formula is spoken three times.
Then you tap the other points and tell the story of how you feel as if you were telling a friend. When you feel that the negative emotion has dropped below 3, you can move on to replacing it with the desired emotion.
NLP Techniques
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques consist of various tricks you do on how you feel. You make changes in your mind on images and on sounds.
Images can be zoomed in, made brighter, more vivid — if you want them to impact you (recommended those loaded with positive emotions), or you can zoom out, turn them black and white, remove them, make them foggy, etc. (if you want to free yourself from them.)
You can edit in your mind the sounds that you’ve heard and have negatively influenced you — you reduce their volume, change the voices of those who speak, make them sound softer or whisper, if it’s the voice that negatively affects you, or you intensify them if you want to influence you positively.
Matrix Reimprinting Technique
Matrix Reimprinting is a technique that reconstructs the emotional matrix given by the thought, the emotion, the event that produced the emotional rupture in the matrix and which attracted other such events or emotions.
It’s a modern technique, like a combination of EFT and NLP that you can travel through time, until the first time in your life the unwanted event occurred.
For example, you close your eyes and, while you tap yourself, allow your subcontinent to travel back in time to the first physical abuse you experienced and after healing there, miracles can happen in the present time.
I could use The Matrix Reimprinting technique only guided by a specialist, Nicoleta Nistor, who treated me, asked me questions, and helped me bring out the traumas of my childhood.
Hypnosis
Another technique to heal yourself quickly is hypnosis in which the subconscious is helped to relieve pain and free itself from it in a very short time.
Other techniques
Honey, if you’re being abused, if you’ve applied all these techniques one after the other and nothing has changed, check what indirect benefits offer you the role you’re playing and what’s going on with you.
To give you an example, those who want to quit smoking, although, on a conscious level know that the habit makes them sick, subconsciously smoking gives them some benefits: it gives them the feeling that they calm down when they are stressed, that they are free to do whatever they want, that they can take a break during work, that it helps them to socialize, etc.
The thought that if they quit smoking, they might lose these benefits, holds them back so that no technique or strategy used will work.
It might be the same case with you and any addiction to being beaten.
If you can’t heal, it means that the subconscious has some benefits that it doesn’t want to lose. Find out what they are.
These repeated abuses may get the attention of those around you. It’s a hypothesis.
I have bad news for you. At some point, those who know you stop listening to you, giving you attention or advice, especially if you haven’t followed them or if you’ve only done them formally.
Then, you need to look for attention elsewhere. You become addicted to having new audiences all the time.
If that’s your case, I’d like to recommend a book by Larry Winget, titled: Shut UP, Stop Whining And Get Your Life!
Best regards,
blogger at Fanautodidact, author of Patronel and Soriela — a fantasy book for children with self-help ideas, Eliberează-te de rănile trecutului și redescoperă fericirea!, Mica Stea Portocalie — a fantasy novel with emotional education for YA and adults.
